Rage and Release, Ladies.

Maya Angelou said that "Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean." Well, after 40 years of people pleasing, it's time to burn some shit down.

Entering midlife is the most humbling yet empowering feeling. As women, we're made to feel that we're disposable after a certain age. That beauty fades and that beauty is all that we have to offer. How utterly ridiculous and quite frankly, lame AF. Which is what all of these societal beliefs are. As we begin to evolve (because hopefully we ALL evolve to some degree), we begin to question these beliefs that were placed on us and start to get to know ourselves deeper. Enter female rage (and I love it).

I'm pissed. Why? Because I've spent decades hiding my feelings, trying to fit in a box, never complaining too much. Let me clarify... I am NOT angry at men (well, not all men). I love men. I am fortunate to have been surrounded by some of the best men all my life. Sadly, not every woman can say that and that is also a reason to be angry. However, this is not why I'm mad. I'm pissed because somewhere along the way, my brain hijacked my body into thinking that suppressing anything besides positivity is the way to go. Nah girl, let that rage flow like your monthly cycle. Let your freak flag fly. Let your deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings out. Then take a sigh of relief when you realize that it's ok to feel it. In fact, it's necessary to feel it. You have to feel it to heal it, right?!

Well, I feel angry. I'm mad that I have a brain that fucks with me constantly. Having MS makes me feel like my body is foreign. My MS is primarily in my brain, and this affects the way signals are sent, how my body reacts, and so much more that I have literally ZERO control over. I'm angry that I have ADHD and that it was undiagnosed because I wasn't jumping out of my chair as a child, but instead, I was daydreaming and disassociating from a very very young age. This probably should have been caught in preschool when I repeatedly ditched naptime to go play on the swings or when the teacher told my parents that I "wasn't ready for the real world." I'm angry about addiction. Why can't I just behave normally? Why does my brain think this way? Why do some people seemingly coast through life, but my brain is torturing me every single day from the second I wake up, until I go to bed (and even then, still sometimes in my dreams)?! Why do the meds that I have to take, make me gain weight? Why do I feel like I'm not enough because of it? Why am I being told to inject poison in my face to avoid aging? Why is aging something to be avoided instead of celebrated? Why do some women try desperately to conceive a child and are never successful, yet others can get knocked up left and right when they don't even want it. Why is someone like me, who chooses not to have children, suddenly deemed a waste to some. Why do I even care? All of these questions begin flooding my head and instead of suppressing them, I'm getting curious and angry... and it feels good.

Ladies, we are magic. We are so incredibly powerful. Each and every single one of us possesses something so beautifully unique and there is no better feeling than coming into that and finding your power. Take up space. Get angry. Get sexy. Get Peace. Find your tribe that gives you the security, safety, and support that you need to rage on. Be that space for other women. As you feel that flame ignite inside of you, let it all burn. Everything that you were ever taught that doesn't align with you. It can be different for all of us, but I assure you, we all have it and we all will feel a lot better when we're safe to express it. In a world that tells you to be small and fit in, remember that it's ok to do the opposite. It's ok to be yourself. It's ok to not want the same things as someone else. It's ok to not want to fit in. It's ok to not want to stand out. It's ok to turn down the job because you want to spend more time with your family. It's ok to take the job because it fulfills something in you. It's ok to have your sole purpose be motherhood. It's ok if you never want to experience motherhood. It's ok to love hard. It's ok to protect yourself. It's ok to not have it all figured out. It's ok to stumble. It's ok to be completely and unapologetically yourself and it's ok to think that's beautiful... because it is.