Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.

This weekend I hosted a girls' night with the theme being Springtime and butterflies to symbolize change and new beginnings. While change is inevitable for everyone in life, it's not always easy. Whether it's good or bad, scary or exciting, the unknown and discomfort of change is difficult.

I've been on many different paths and lived many lives already in this lifetime. Every single one of them had one thing in common... change. Sometimes coming from a decision that I made and sometimes just being thrown into it because of life. Recently, I've had several changes surrounding me with my loved ones and it has been a whirlwind. Watching people try to navigate, I take notes and try to listen to my own advice as I'm giving it.

I recently heard something that deeply resonated with me... What you're not changing, you're choosing. Think about that for a second. Whether it's your relationships, your job, your body, your health, your home, your habits... it can apply to anything really. If you're not actively changing something, you are essentially choosing to stay exactly where you are. Maybe that's just fine for some people, but I think that most people would have at least one thing in their life that they'd like to change. This doesn't mean it's easy to do, but

it does mean that you have a choice. That in itself is empowering.

It's easy to feel defeated when you think about things that you are not happy with. The outcome from change seems so far away and the steps to get there seem so difficult and overwhelming. But you don't have to look at the entire picture. Look at it just for the moment. What can I change right now in this moment that will get me closer to the outcome that I desire? This is where things begin to line up and as you feel like you're moving slowly but surely, you will look up one day and it WILL be different.

I've worked SO hard on myself in the last 4 years and after my beautiful girls' night, I woke up feeling a little lost. Almost helpless. Definitely not the rush of joy that I usually have after an event like that. I decided to sink into it for a bit and analyze why I may be feeling this way. I had so much fun planning this night for new beginnings and celebrating so much beauty and so many wonderful women... but I also realized that in being there for others recently, I have gone off of my own track. I have lost focus of my own journey. Once again, I am reminded that healing is not linear and neither is change. It takes consistency and work.

Back on my wellness/healing journey with routine, structure, and patience for myself. I am a different person today than I was 4 years ago, and I am happier than I have ever been. I wouldn't change that for anything. But I'm not done. There is still much to work on and resolve inside of me. Instead of feeling frustrated by that, I feel honored and proud that I now have developed the tools for it. That in itself shows great improvement and hope. It is never too late to better yourself, and remember... "If nothing changed, there'd be no butterflies."