Patience: the capacity to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset
Virtue: behavior holding high moral standards
Whenever I find myself in a rut, feeling stuck and stagnant, I begin to get the itch. An intense craving for something fun and exciting. But not something like a planned trip or adventure, my problem is that I want it now. Instant gratification. NOW.
I often ponder the question of whether this is my addiction, ADHD, generational, or just part of being human?
When Covid first hit, the world shut down. I distinctly remember thinking that I was learning a big lesson on the importance of slowing down. It was very similar to the feelings that I get when I am hit with a severe MS attack. Returning home from the hospital with nothing but unknowns. When will I be able to walk again? Or will I ever? Well, Covid didn't leave me with those exact questions, but the similar ones were more like what do I do about my job? How will I earn a living? What do I do with my time?
Being stripped of all my comforts, forced to sit in the depths of myself, and focus only on the things that I am able to control and what I know to be true. It's a scary place but it's also peaceful. It's amazing how many little things I notice that no one else seems to. How many minute details bring me such joy. I feel like my senses are heightened, my body and soul are more in tune with my surroundings, and I just feel more alive. Why don't I let myself feel this more often? Why is it such extreme situations that lead me to this type of peace and alignment?
The world we live in today, thrives on instant gratification. From the second that I wake up in the morning, if I want breakfast, but don't have the ingredients or patience to make it, I can order it. No problem. While I'm at it, why don't I go ahead and get my groceries delivered for dinner too. I realize that this is an extreme example and a luxury that not everyone has, but it's the truth. I want my house cleaned. But when I begin cleaning, if I don't finish the entire thing, it feels like a waste of my time, and I get discouraged. I sit down to watch something on TV. I spend so long looking through options, that I end up just doom scrolling on my phone instead. Too many options, too much access. No wonder I'm craving something new and exciting.
I need to unplug. Detach. Get back to basics. Go for a walk in nature and delight is seeing everything that looks like it has been hand painted. Put some music on and let my body feel the rhythm until it flows inside of me. Meditate. Pray. Cook a delicious meal and immerse my tastebuds in the different flavors. Open my notebook and start writing or coloring with no purpose or destination, just releasing my pent-up energy onto paper.
The immediate response to these suggestions is probably an eyeroll and the thought of "who has time for that?!!" The reality is, the time spent scrolling or watching tv, you probably could have done at least two of these things and would feel the natural dopamine hits that come with them. Whenever I'm feeling stuck, this is what I need. I force myself to awaken my senses in some way and submerge myself in the natural high that comes with it. There is a renewed sense of wonder and strength that reassures me that everything will be ok and that patience is, in fact, a virtue.
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