Fitting In VS. Belonging

The battle of fitting in is such a strange concept, yet it seems to control a lot of our lives and surroundings. Particularly in this world of influencing and everyone seemingly interested in looking exactly the same. No one wants to stand out. I suppose it's always been that way. As a teen, your entire existence is pretty much focused on blending in. It feels like this is something that we unknowingly take into adulthood as well. We all want acceptance. But are we looking for acceptance of who we REALLY are, or are we conforming to be accepted?

When you are with others, do you feel safe to speak up? Would you feel comfortable disagreeing with those in your close circle? If the answer is no, you are probably not with the right people. Part of what makes us beautiful is our differences. People want to stand out, but they want to stand out for being like someone else, not necessarily true to who they are. Of course, maybe they don't quite know who they are yet. That's very possible and understandable. How are we supposed to find and become our truest selves in a world that does NOT celebrate differences?!

I don't like sweet and savory. I like sweets. I like savory foods. Combined, no thank you. Does this make me wrong? Am I stupid because my taste buds are not as sophisticated as yours and I do not want fig on my burger? If you enjoy dipping your bacon in maple syrup, am I going to shun you? How silly.

Our differences make us who we are. This should be celebrated, and we should stand proudly on this. Still, I too, have trouble standing tall (I'm also quite short, so there's that).

There is an incredible overwhelm of peace and love when we do begin to shed that need to fit in, though. When we can just be who we are without apologies or insecurities. What's even better, is when you find where you "belong." This will not be where you feel the need to change in any way. You will not feel pressure to look or act a certain way. You will not feel judged or ridiculed. You will feel loved. Supported. Taken care of. Accepted.

Those are the feelings that will help you grow and heal inside.

Every single person (if they're lucky) will get older. Every single person will experience loss. Loss of our loved ones. Loss of physical abilities. Loss of youth and all that comes with it. No one can outsmart it or outrun it. It WILL happen. Let me tell you, it will happen quicker than you ever think, too. But we don't have to lose ourselves. We don't have to lose hope or love. Laughter or joy. Or memories. We can and should hold on tightly there.

There was a time when I knew that if I died, what would be said about me was "she was a good time!" and I was. But now, I would want it to be said that "she was a good person." I would want people to say and know that they felt loved and safe with me. Safe to be themselves without fear of judgement or rejection. I believe the only way that can happen, is if I am fully myself. Standing out... too bright, fat, and colorful to fit in anywhere.